This domain has been seized

The domain name JOHN.GL has been seized by the Federal Bureau of Johns (FBJ) under a warrant issued by the Bureau, to itself, under 18 J.S.C. § 1-800-JOHN (Unauthorised Possession of a Name-Shaped Domain) and Article 1 of the Johannine Convention of AD 1, which provides that a John shall have a John. The operation was carried out with the assistance of the Department of Sausage Sizzle Affairs, the Tita Intelligence Network and INTERJOHN.

The seizure was carried out on the following grounds:

1. The domain spelled J-O-H-N, and no John was holding it.
2. Every other John domain on Earth was taken, or cost more than a thousand dollars a year, which the Bureau considers a humanitarian crisis.
3. The domain was available, unattended, and looked cold.

Visitors found to be John-curious will be processed, offered a plate of rice, and released. Anyone attempting to reclaim this domain must file Form J-7 (see Exhibit B). All appeals are reviewed carefully, and denied.